Surprised at still being surprised.

At the age of 42, I should really have more of an intuition on the ways of the world. Actually, I do. But it just takes a little longer for my brain to process it.

It’s become apparent that I am a jerk.

This is an issue.

Is it about neurotransmitters and certain chemical levels? Or just being an idiot man-child? Probably. To all that shit. Gotta do something about it.

Some dudes can get away with being jerks. I’m not one of them.

Captain Kirk. Shatner Kirk specifically. Made some dick moves. You know, he made some mistakes. “Zigged when [he] should’ve zagged” (I think that’s a direct quote from the rated-exactly-right-as-crappy Star Trek V: The Final Frontier), but would we say he was a jerk? A dick? An asshole? Well, probably not. Sure, he used his masculine wiles to get all up in every woman — human, alien, whateves — but he was just an alpha male. Well, apparently he was also a deadbeat dad, but he didn’t know about his son David Marcus because Carol didn’t tell him, I think, but… wait, I’m getting off track.

I guess Captain Kirk could get away with being a jerk — regardless of his mental or chemical or emotional or, um, whatever blah, blah, blah reasons — because he commanded the greatest ship in Starfleet and saved the universe at least a few times.

I’ve never saved the universe.

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