It’s almost Halloween & me with no costume!

How did Halloween sneak up on me? Sneaky night of Satan and candies! Dammit… Now only a few days to come up with a totally awesome (and easy and cheap — scratch that, FREE) costume!

Possible costumes for me:

1. Rogue (from X-MEN, people!)

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Depending on how I part my hair at this point in “old life,” I totally have a white skunk stripe, Rogue style! Of course, I’m not a woman… but I can do a much better Southern accent than Anna Paquin. To wit, “Howdy, sugah.” I, too, also have excellent cleavage.

2. Chas Tenebaum, funeral edition.

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I say “funeral edition” because I don’t have red track suit materials. I do have black track pants and almost matching jacket, though, which would fit his more somber attire during (SPOILER) the funeral scene at the end of the movie. My roommate has an afro wig, if I recall correctly. If I could get two miniature versions of myself, it’d be — ah, no time!

3. Clark Kent changing into Superman

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Ah, this is an old standby. I’ve probably done this the past couple Halloweens, plus other here and there in-between other costumes. It’s easy, and I’m lazy. Still… been done to death by me and others (though I’m pretty sure I created it, darn it.) I do, however, have great cleavage. (Wait, what… ?)

4. My dad, circa 2004.

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He was 53 then, and I’m only 32 now… but still, the comparison holds. All I’d have to do is grow a mustache. Is it too esoteric, though?

5. Batman!

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Oh, crap! Why didn’t I think of this before??? It’ll be perfect, I can already do the voice and everything. I just need… a… um… a Batman costume. … Crap.

6. A Cylon “skinjob.”

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Ha haaa! Pull a fast one on everybody. Ain’t no way to prove if I’m Cylon or human because Baltar’s tests are purposely flawed. And you know I got the cleavage for — wait, there are dude Cylons, too. Oh, also, my spine glows red during sex. (What… ?)

7. Captain Caveman

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Just need to not shave for a day or two.

8. Jaws from James Bond.

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Would this qualify as a costume, though?

9. “White D.J.”

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That’s right, not the regular me — a white version of me. Racist? Naw… maybe reverse racist, but no one minds that. (… What… ?)

10. Uh… I dunno.

Any suggestions? A decision must be made…

One thought on “It’s almost Halloween & me with no costume!

  1. Pingback: djkirkbride.com | Halloween saved by a piece of paper!

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