Lights Out

From Thursday, January 21, 2010:

Tonight the electricity went out, and I realized how plugged in my entire life was. It went out during Thursday night TV, which sucks because I was really looking forward to Community, Parks & Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock. That’s right: all four of those shows. A full, exciting, productively evening… a two hour block of comedy DENIED me… well, until tomorrow when, one assumes, the electricity is back on and I’ll be able to watch them all on Hulu. Guess that’s something to look forward to.

But, honestly, there’s not much for me to do now. I’m forcing myself to write, which I’ll be able to do until my computer battery runs out or I run out of things to type… guessing the battery will last longer.

I have one tiny candle. It isn’t producing enough light to read… not really. I have a flashlight, but it’s this little keychain one. I have to hold onto the button to keep the little bit of light going. I could try to read by that, but it might just be frustrating. Yeah, I’m that lazy.

When the lights first went out, I ventured outside. Looked like it’s just a couple of blocks that are out. I could go somewhere, but I’m not feeling that great today to begin with. Besides, it’s dangerous outside… in the darkness. While wandering, without all the street lamps to illuminate the Los Angeles streets, I was almost attacked by a raccoon. Well, maybe it wasn’t going to attack me, but we definitely crossed paths – and it was a big sucker. Maybe three, three and a half feet long. And the claws on those things. It probably could’ve torn me apart… in the darkness, where no one would see! I’m lucky.

Now it’s 9:00PM. I’m honestly considering just going to bed, but I know I won’t fall asleep… and the lying there in silence will just lead to thinking, which is never good for me. Never ever.

Should I be scared? Is it during a blackout when the ruffians and the vagrants go breaking into homes and whatnot? I’m just one 230 pound, 6’3” boy… all alone in a dark apartment. The fear is legitimate! Oh, wait. No it’s not. My roommate has samurai swords in the living room. Yeah, they’re just for decoration, but, dude, they are real swords. I could protect myself. Unless! Crap, unless the criminals that break in notice them first and use them against me! Could there be anything more emasculating than being attacked with one’s own roommate’s decorative samurai swords? Yeah, probably several things. Still, the fact remains: I’d rather not be attacked with a samurai sword-wielding vagrant looking to take advantage of my lack of electricity.

What did old timey folk do without electricity back in the days of yore? Well, they probably had a lot more candles than I do. That’d help with the illumination, at least the reading light… They also probably just got up at the crack of dawn and went to sleep when the sun went down, right? Worked the land until Mother Nature or Gaya, once, by the way, vocalized by the great EGOT (Emmy/Grammy/Oscar/Tony) Winning Whoopi Goldberg on that classic show of pro-environmental superheroics, Captain Planet And The Planeteers… bet that’s online somewhere, but I wouldn’t know because I got no electricity, and with it, no internet! Where was I… ? Oh, right, old timey folk worked the land until Mother Nature stopped providing light, right? Yeah, well, anyway, I don’t know. I’m no history scientist.

The truth is that this is just really freaking bored. And I would much rather be watching the hijinks on The Office that would be playing on my TV / imagination box right now. When confronted with my real life, no escape to be found in the darkness, well, man… not a lot going on. Is there a stronger word for “boring”? Maybe I’ll coin one: “D.J.-life.” Yeah, it’s a hyphenate. I’m not a word scientist, either. Deal with it.

Maybe I can wish and wish and wish myself to sleep. Get an early start on the day tomorrow. I’m gonna need it – lots of missed TV to watch online tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “Lights Out

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