My interest in this whole Leno vs. Conan thing isn’t some misguided worrying about the financial or career fates of millionaires. Honestly, I’m just sick of unfunny comedy being more popular than funny comedy. It’s that simple. Two & A Half Men is the most popular sitcom on television while Community struggles in the ratings. This is ridiculous and fairly embarrassing to God’s America in my admittedly kind of comedy snobby opinion, but so long as they’re both on for their respective fans to enjoy, fine.

Now, if Two & A Half Men wanted Community‘s time slot? I mean, not just to go up against it on another network, but to actually kick Community off the air and in that very time slot instead show Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer say horrible, unfunny things about women? Well, then I’d be up in arms! (By “up in arms,” I mean blogging on my less popular than seems possible bloggy blog here, I suppose.)

If Leno gets the Tonight Show back at the expense of Conan, it’s just another example of mediocrity winning. Now, maybe I should be happy about this, as it bodes well for my writing career, but, be that is at may very well be, I don’t want mediocre material rewarded. It’s not a major catastrophe or something important in a real world sense, no, but it isn’t completely trivial. Good humor is smart humor (even good dumb humor has intelligence behind it). The once funny Leno represents the dumbing down of comedy, specifically, American comedy. I don’t want America to be a dumb country of Jaywalkers.

Hopefully, at the very least, Conan will go to another network with his entire crew in tact and thrive. This is all very disappointing, though, just in the sense that quality doesn’t always prevail.

This is old… well, internet old. But it makes me laugh, and just in case my reader hasn’t seen it yet, I want to share… Because it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh way too much. One minor complaint, but I don’t want to spoil it, so I’ll complain below.

Don’t spoil the magic by reading my deep, insightful criticism of this near-perfect amalgam of comedy, R&B, country, and hot, hot sexiness… Watch that video up there, then read below… For reals, now.
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Okay, so this is a song chronicling the beautifully erotic love affair between Andy Samburg and an alternate-reality Reba McEntire. I wish it’d just gone on like this was just Reba, not some homeless dude that found a wig. Though I do kind of like the conflicting realities of the song… still, it’d be even more surreal if they just insisted this was the real Reba.

I’ve given this too much thought, I know.

Hi, reader(s)!

In an effort to entertain you more betterer and to write more, I now declare that I will post a longish (at least 600 word) blog entry every Monday. For those of you that read the late, great THE FOOTNOTE, these posts will be similar to my old “Pure Lard” column.

On days other than Monday, there will still be randomly unpredictable posts about movies or TV shows or comics or books or real life or whatever and the occasional YouTube video and miscellaneous fun link, too. But every Monday? Yeah. Original content about stuff and things.

Also, I like burritos.

Love,

D.J.

I need a watch.

For a few years now, I’ve been using my cellular telephone to tell the time, much like our ancestors used the sun and… shadows. This is usually a perfectly acceptable manner of time telling. My hands and wrists are unadorned with any jewelry — rings or bracelets (or whatever the masculine word for “bracelets” is… if that’s possible… “gauntlets,” perhaps?), and at some point in my life, a watch started feeling dangerously close to such a too-flashy-for-me accessory.

(more…)

So, I was born and raised in Ohio but have been living in Los Angeles, CA for, holy crap, five years? A little over that?

Do I have complaints? Hell yeah, I do. The cost of living — geez. It’s insane. The pollution — that smog cloud you can se when you fly in is pretty freaky. The people — no, no, not all of them, but… maybe it’s because there are so many actors, but I just don’t know where I stand with LA folk much of the time. Oh, and the traffic — fuck, man, the traffic is nuts.

But you know what I have NO complaints about? The weather. The weather in LA is delightful! Sometimes I think, “I miss the seasons,” though. The seasons help one mark the passage of time. Spring, with its renewal. Summer, with the, you know sun — well, that’s LA all the time. Arguably the two best seasons, though I miss Fall.

But winter?

Man, fuck winter! I’ve whined about missing snow before, but now? After a week of snow in some crazy Ohioan tundra? First in Northern Ohio and now in Southern Ohio? It’s ridiculous!!!

Looking outside, it is pretty. Sure, I’ll admit that. Just a sea of white, flakes falling from the sky… which is also pretty white. It’s almost unreal. But I feel trapped in the house! It’s that cabin fever I’ve forgotten about living in the permanent swell weather of Smell A! There’s no way I can go out and drive somewhere. And my sister is still at work, so I’m worried about her driving home.

Snow is absurd. Yes, it’s cheaper to live in Ohio than in Southern California, but… is the CA weather worth the steep cost of living price? I’m beginning to wonder. Maybe I’ll be missing the seasons a little less when I return to LA this Saturday… IF I can return — weather pending.