Every week, I make a list of regrets. So I won’t forget. Usually this is just for my dia– uh, I mean… journal. For my manly journal. But who keeps a journal anymore? I mean a private one just for the writer, because what’s the point of writing something — heck, of even feeling something, if it’s not shared with dozens (tens? fives?) of people. Internet, people!
So, for the first time ever, I shall share my list of regrets for the week (no particular order, numbered just because of mild, self-diagnosed OCD):
1. My life is without karate. Still I have yet to learn or even actually look for a way to learn this fighting technique. (On this list since I first started making it forty-two years ago when I was eight years old.)
2. No Chipotle for dinner. After work (or, as I sometimes call it, “wooooooork”), I didn’t walk to the nearby Chipotle for a big ol’ burrito dinner. Not once. This mistake was made on account of my wanting to save money. Related to this regret is Regret #3.
3. Kraft Mac & Cheese with tuna fish for diner. Come on. I’m an adult. What the hell am I doing eating like this?The cheese is orange powder, and, honestly, I see no difference between the can of tuna and cat food! And I’m not a cat! (Still, delicious… I’m ashamed.)
4. Did not exercise. Last week I was pretty good. Did some jogging each day and whatnot. This week? Lazytown, USA. That’s where I lived.
5. Rubik’s Cube still unsolved. I can get one side, but that’s freaking IT! Yes, it came with a pamphlet of instructions on how to win, but it’d be so lame to cheat like that! I want to figure it out for myself. But I never will. Look, this regret is somewhat misleading, as it infers that I worked on the Rubik’s Cube the week in question (this one). Truth is, I didn’t even try. I didn’t even realize I regreted this until I typed it.
6. Didn’t make it happen. What is “it”? It’s… “it”! And I did nothing to facilitate the happening of said “it.”
7. Went out for lunch every day this week. I need to save money, and I’ve been doing so well for so long. What’s my deal? It’s not like I hate turkey sandwiches, which is usually what I make to save money. It’s insane and costly to go out for lunch every single day when you’re an office drone like myself.
8. Failed to reach inner peace. Again! So elusive.
9. Could not think of a 9th regret even though I know I have hundreds of thousands deep in the bowels of my soul. I’m just not trying hard enough yet also feel 10 is a better number for lists.
10. Put my Weekly List of Regrets on my little-read blog. Really, why’d I do this? I’m actually typing this right now. Why am I doing this?