Coming Out

As I was growing up, I was, almost right from jump street out of the womb, bigger than the average human baby. As I grew up, when my doctor or teacher measured my height, I was always in the top percentile, well above the “norm.” The curious thing is that this bothered no one. Not once was I told to just act like I was smaller or slouch. I was born tall, and, hey, who cares? I just had to get pants with longer inseams than some of my classmates.

When I was a little kid at whatever age little kids are when they start picking up crayons and drawing and trying to write, and I picked up the crayon with my left hand, no one freaked out. Sure, most people are right handed, but my parents and doctors and teachers didn’t get worried or upset when I used the OTHER hand. They even let me use “left-handed” scissors when we started cutting construction paper.

And when I played tee ball? No one looked down on me for standing on the other side of the tee from my righty teammates. I even got a glove that enabled me to catch the baseball with my right hand and throw with my left! Not that a glove helped with my lack of athletic prowess, but, still, baseball glove on my right hand — no one protested like they often did in the generations before mine.

See, my mom is left-handed, too, but a little before her time and maybe occasionally still during when she was in school, teachers would try to take that crayon out of their student’s left hand and put it in the right. How awkward and just, well, wrong and pointless and stupid that was. Everyone can agree on that. Just kind of silly, right? Everyone now understands that there’s no reason a lefty has to be changed. I never had to, anyway.

Interestingly enough, I also never had to “come out” to my parents that I liked girls. My heterosexuality was never an issue. It was never something that I worried about or even thought about in that way. I didn’t have to have any tentative or awkward conversations with my pals to let them know that I wanted my penis to go with a vagina. Seriously, it just never came up. Not once. Because that’d be absurd, right? It’s just how I was born. It’s my chemical and mental makeup for some reason. Just a wacky glitch of genetics. It doesn’t hurt anyone, as I just like ladies in that manner, and if one likes me in that manner, and we hit it off, all is well. No worries. No one cares, really.

If I’d been shorter, no one would’ve minded either. Or what if I’d picked up my first crayon with my right hand and showed instinctively that I obviously felt more comfortable drawing and scribbling that way? My parents and teachers would’ve been fine with that, too, as the silliness of worrying about something like that had long since been accepted.

So, one would assume, if I’d had a predilection toward pee pees instead of vajayjays, it should be the same thing, right? I’d have gone about my life pretty much the same way, never having to make a big deal or any announcements about it. I’d just be who I was, and when I started reaching “that age” where you notice people in a different way, well, surely there’d be another boy who felt the same way, and we’d get to be adolescently awkward together and hold hands and go to the movies (with a parent chaperoning) and slow dancing at the miserable school dances and whatnot. Like anyone else, me and the fella could go steady, maybe exchange class rings in high school. It wouldn’t matter. No reason it should. Just how some folks are born.

Right?

7 thoughts on “Coming Out

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention djkirkbride.com | Coming Out -- Topsy.com

  2. It’d be nice to think that this could be the outlook for my daughter while she’s growing up.. If she liked girls or boys, it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, I think we’re still a generation or two off for this to be accepted as you depict. :(

  3. Yeah… It’s unfortunate not only that times are changing rather slowly but also that they have to change at all. It’s just such a ridiculous thing to get upset about.

  4. This is something I could not agree with more. I don’t understand why people have to be defined by their sexuality at all and especially not to the point of segregation. It shouldn’t be an issue.

    Someone should be able to describe their ideal match as “average height, a little on the thin side, maybe a tan, preferably with a vagina, but a penis is okay” without getting any more of a reaction than if they’d just said “I like redheads over blondes”.

    Maybe you would only ever date a ginger. Maybe you just aren’t attracted to light hair. Maybe you couldn’t care less about the person’s hair so long as you liked the rest of them. What makes genitalia so different?

  5. Fantastic! I couldn’t agree more…it’s ridiculous that anyone should have to “come out”. I just hope that one day, people will be able to be who they are with no questions and no having to explain or defend themselves. Unless who they are is a serial killer or something like that… :)

  6. This is so beautiful. It seem’s so common sense to me that I find it really hard to explain why sexuality shouldn’t matter, but this piece does it perfectly!
    P.s I am left handed too :-) although my first year of school a teacher made me stay back to practise my handwriting and told me about how she learnt to write with her right hand andmade me feel like I was supposed to to. Sorry this is somewhat irrelevant although possibly metaphorical.

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