Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Ah! It’s 8:08 AM! I’m just out of bed now even though I done set my alarm for 7:00 AM! Hurry, hurry, work, work work workworkhurrywork!

Nearly every single damn morning. How is it my body’s infernal clock isn’t used to this, huh? Makes not a lick of sense. Like most of us, I’ve had to wake up at a certain time that is earlier than I seem to want to wake up for about all of my life. Yet it’s still a struggle.

The onlines (also known as the interwebnets) has some tips on waking up on time. Various sites saying about the same things with the same amusing lack of profundity or helpfulness.

1. Get enough sleep. Oh, really? So, wait… to not be tired, I just need to sleep more. Perfect! Thanks, experts!

2. Go to sleep at the same time every night. I kind of do… It’s just that that same time is kind of late.

3. Don’t drink to fall asleep. Um… that’s stupid advice. It’s like saying don’t drink to smile.

4. Avoid eating before bed. This is just inaccurate. Hasn’t science accepted the concept of “tummy tiredness.” A surefire way to sleep is to eat lots. Combining this and what they say not to do in step 3 is about the only way I ever drift off to night-night.

5. Think differently than D.J. Kirkbride. Ah, there you go. Here it is. Yep. Don’t let your brain be like mine. That is sound advice.

6. Put your alarm clock in a place where you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Ah, this is interesting advice. And the sound of a good alarm is something you can’t sleep through because, well, onto number 7…

7. Choose a really annoying alarm. I do have that. I mean, anything gets annoying when it’s an alarm waking you up for a day of cubicle sitting, but this one “melody” on my crap cell phone really does the trick… until I turn it off and go back to sleep.

8. Be a responsible adult and just get up. Ah… hm. Uh. Hmph.

Anyway, eight is enough since, due to my not waking, I should really be in a rush to get to work, not writing a bloggy thing for reasons unknown.

Maybe… maybe tomorrow I’ll have a chipper morn. There’s always tomorrow. Until the aliens come back to reclaim their pet planet.

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