Mixed Messages For My Health

This morning I had scrambled egg whites (for my heart) and breakfast potatoes (for my taste buds). Oh… and bacon. Does that defeat the point of the egg whites? Do they balance each other out? I always order bacon last. I have the good intentions, then… dammit, bacon.

I sometimes decide I don’t care. Eff this health stuff, because the rules are always changing. Different doctors say different things. Eggs are good. Eggs are bad. Bacon is the devil. Bacon cures sadness. Who the hell knows? My guess is no one. New information crops up discounting the way we’ve lived, and then we have to change to the new rules until the new rules become the old rules and suddenly we’re supposed to put salt on everything and not wear condoms and ban seat belts and encourage beer and smoking.

So, a couple of weeks ago, after a blood test revealed I had crazy high triglycerides, I decided to get healthy. Then I realized through recent experience that there are some things we just can’t control and decided to eat what I want because I’m not in control of anything anyway. No reason to fake it. Might as well try to eat happiness.

But, just in case, I bought some red yeast rice and fish oil pills (for cholesterol and heart health or something). Supposed to help, the doctor suggested I should probably get some prescription for real medicine, not hippy dippy crap. But I hate the thought of having to take a pill every day, especially if one day my health insurance ends, and then what? Of course, those red yeast rice and fish oil pills aren’t cheap, and I have to take two and three of them respectively each day. So… what was my point?

One fear is that triglyceride medications like Tricor might affect the liver, which I need for my drinkin’. Oh, and alcohol raises triglycerides, so… wait.

Part of me thinks I should just get rid of all my smiles (bacon, booze, cheese, fried things) and replace them with some prescription medication that future science will probably either discount or discover causes brain bleeding or eye warts or genital disintegration or something.

I wish I didn’t know just enough to confuse me or upset me. Ignorance would be bliss. And I could enjoy it with bacon, which would be blissfully delicious.

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