Wow. It’s been a while, blog. I’ve been neglecting you, as I often do. I blame not only my usual laziness but also the likes of the Twitters and the Facebooks. They make getting bits of info and links out there so darn easy.

It’s gotten to the point that I have trouble holding a thought for more than 140 characters. On one hand, I feel very succinct of thought; on the other hand, this is a very pathetic turn of events.

It is worth noting that I have little to write about right now. Life is going along well enough, but as far as exciting tales to tell… I dunno. On the writing side of things, it’s a lot of pitches and waiting. Nothing to report since DO YOU BELIEVE IN NINJAS?, my book of ninja poetry with illustrations by Chris Moreno from Creative Guy Publishing. If you haven’t checked it out, it’s available on Amazon. I’ll also be bringing copies to the Anaheim Comic Con.

Oh, weird, that was some news, I suppose.

Also, if you’re in the LA-area, my favorite pancake place ever, THE GRIDDLE, has introduced a red velvet pancake! I mention this because I love red velvet cake, pancakes, and eating appallingly yet deliciously.

Is that it? Yeah, for now. But what a glorious image to end this on, despite the distressingly bad picture quality of my ancient camera phone.

Let’s see if I can manage to update again in less than two and 3/4 months!

When I first heard of “No Shave November,” I was like, “Hm… that’d be a good excuse not to shave.” And so… I joined in! I joined in with vigor!

It just so happened that I’d shaved for my Halloween costume. Yeah, Clark Kent AGAIN, but here’s a sample of that clean shaven face…

Now, ignore the look on my face… actually, just ignore my face entirely aside from the fact that that’s how I look after shaving with a razor and shaving cream and the whole bit.

My facial hair is one of the few manly things about me, so I was quite excited by the No Shave November possibilities. For serious, sand paper texture and 5 o’clock shadows appear moments after shaving… My hope was to have a big ol’ bushy monstrosity for all the world to fear after a month of not shaving or even trimming.

Instead…

It’s like the dang thing grew to a certain point and then stopped! This is barely different than a week’s worth of normal facial hair grooming neglect!

The moral of the story, kids, is that even my facial hair can let me down. That Sam Elliott ‘stache I was hoping to achieve for next year’s “Movember” now seems about as likely as my dream of becoming a karate expert via nothing but wishing…

Good-bye, dreams.

So, those new digital billboards next to the roads in LA and some other parts of AMERICAISTHEBEST are great. It’s like watching TV except — oh shit! I’m at the wheel of a moving car under my control!

Sometimes they are quite distracting. Usually if there’s a pretty lady or something, then it turns to HOUSE in clown shoes, and I’m like, “Bring back the pretty lady!” right before I rear end the car in front of me.

This morning, though, there was a WHEEL OF FORTUNE one that caught my attention. I tried to find it online, but a quick search proved fruitless. It was a puzzling one…

CATEGORY:  Living things.

LETTERS: B L _ _ K  _ A T

Now, okay, Halloween is close, so we know it’s “BLACK CAT.”

But, buuuut! If one chooses an “A,” it’d show up in “BLACK” as well as “CAT,” right? So… this billboard is impossible!

It should be…

CATEGORY:  Living things.

LETTERS: B L A _ K  _ A T

Right?

I’m not a Wheel watcher, though. Am I missing something?

Aside from a life?

This morning I had scrambled egg whites (for my heart) and breakfast potatoes (for my taste buds). Oh… and bacon. Does that defeat the point of the egg whites? Do they balance each other out? I always order bacon last. I have the good intentions, then… dammit, bacon.

I sometimes decide I don’t care. Eff this health stuff, because the rules are always changing. Different doctors say different things. Eggs are good. Eggs are bad. Bacon is the devil. Bacon cures sadness. Who the hell knows? My guess is no one. New information crops up discounting the way we’ve lived, and then we have to change to the new rules until the new rules become the old rules and suddenly we’re supposed to put salt on everything and not wear condoms and ban seat belts and encourage beer and smoking.

So, a couple of weeks ago, after a blood test revealed I had crazy high triglycerides, I decided to get healthy. Then I realized through recent experience that there are some things we just can’t control and decided to eat what I want because I’m not in control of anything anyway. No reason to fake it. Might as well try to eat happiness.

But, just in case, I bought some red yeast rice and fish oil pills (for cholesterol and heart health or something). Supposed to help, the doctor suggested I should probably get some prescription for real medicine, not hippy dippy crap. But I hate the thought of having to take a pill every day, especially if one day my health insurance ends, and then what? Of course, those red yeast rice and fish oil pills aren’t cheap, and I have to take two and three of them respectively each day. So… what was my point?

One fear is that triglyceride medications like Tricor might affect the liver, which I need for my drinkin’. Oh, and alcohol raises triglycerides, so… wait.

Part of me thinks I should just get rid of all my smiles (bacon, booze, cheese, fried things) and replace them with some prescription medication that future science will probably either discount or discover causes brain bleeding or eye warts or genital disintegration or something.

I wish I didn’t know just enough to confuse me or upset me. Ignorance would be bliss. And I could enjoy it with bacon, which would be blissfully delicious.

Look, as I wrote a couple days ago, I have issues with waking up in the morning. So many so, that I slept through yesterday. A whole day! I guess my 7:00 AM alarm went off for a while, then stopped… then went off again at 7:00 AM this morning, and it stirred me from my epic slumber. And even after a whole extra and unplanned 24 hours of sleepytime — I still groaned and grumbled about getting out of my slightly too short for my body length bed!

The part of not liking getting up in the morning that I can change (as I have to go to work regardless, which is the other unlikeable part), is my alarm music. Currently it’s a “melody” on my 12-year-old girl appropriate Samsung Rant phone called “Sunny Day.” I picked this due to it’s name, which I’d hoped would translate into a g’mornin’ smile. It’s got a nice, brassy beat and a celebratory feel… and is incredibly annoying.

I think there is only one bit of music that I’d be happy with interrupting my dream time…

This would make me wake up with purpose! Gotta find that ringtone and then figure out how to download ringtones and if I can even do stuff like that on my Raaaant.

Yeah! Wakin’ up in style! Heroically!!!