Ninjas don’t jazzercise

…..to keep the thunder out of their thighs.

……….For that they kick tons of ass.

Ninjas don’t diet

…..as a way to stay fit.

……….Badass assassinations keep ‘em thin.

Ninjas don’t sweat to the oldies

…..to be free of ass fat foldies.

……….Airborne flipping is better than Richard Simmons’ moves.

Ninjas don’t jazzercise.

…..or freaking diet

……….or sweat to no oldies.

Ninjas

kick

ass.

…..Which is wonderful exercise.

Ninja with a mustache,

your hairy lip aids you in the kicking

of ass.

-

Whatever your reason for growing your ’stache,

it works for you.

I say this true blue.

-

Show off your ’stache,

and cut a ’stache hole in  your mask…

In fear your enemies will bask.

-

Show off that sweet hairy lip…

Oh! And when you kick,

remember to pivot with your hip.

-

Look, put that razor down.

Without that godgiven ’stache,

you look like an child clown.

-

Ninja, sweet mustchioed ninja,

you beautiful bastard,

don’t ever give up the dream.

-

Shaving your lip,

won’t make your enemies scream

… in terror.

Ninjas in space,
Whose side are they on?

Are they defending us from alien invaders?
Or are they Ninjutsu Darth Vaders?

I mean, what if they were up there,
In their astro-ninja-underwear,
Planning our downfall?
The global death of us all?

That’s probably the deal.
Ninjas freaking hate humanity.
At least that’s how I was raised to…
… raised… to… feel… ?

Holy shit.
Wait a minute.

Was I raised to hate ninjas?
To be a ninja hater?

No, I don’t blame Mom and Dad.
It’s society that’s bad.
The media, that’s who to blame…
… for my ninja-hating shame.

Just because they can kill me with a kick,
Doesn’t mean I have to be a dick.

Ninjas, on earth or in space,
are part of the human race.

So, I’m going to hug a ninja, and – ack!
I was just stabbed… with a ninja… sword…
… what a sneaky ninja attack.

Lesson learned?

Probably not.

Ninjas are in your heart.
Yeah, every organ has to do its part.
If a ninja was in your thigh…
that isn’t an organ, so it don’t
apply.

Ninjas don’t care about your dreams,
and they don’t live in your
spleens.

Ninjas are stronger than your soul,
and, like you, they eat cereal
and milk
out of a bowl.

Ninjas are in your heart,
which is more important than
any
other
part…

… of YOU!

Dude, a ninja could eat your HEART!

Ninjas watch football

they love the competition

and the tight, tight pants

When ninjas drink too much coffee,

their teeth take on the color of toffee.

A belly full of this fine ass roast,

ain’t always something of which to boast.

Dig it: ninjas have to be stealthy…

…quiet and sneaky to stay healthy…

… and if they kill for money, to get wealthy.

But drinking coffee effs with their digestion…

Weird noises abound,

causing sneaking around,

without making a sound,

kinda out of the question.

That type of noisy stomach shit could get a ninja killed, man.

SHHHHHHHHHH!

Ninjas should not drink too much coffee.

……………………………………………………………………..

Need more Ninja Poetry in your life? Sure you do.

Want even more… ? Well, okay. (Just scroll down… middle-ish, right-hand column.)