Keeping FRINGE Alive

Just over a week ago, FRINGE ended its little-watched but much-loved-by-those-who-did-watch-it five-year run. In my apartment, that resulted in two grown dudes trying not to openly cry in front of each other as a genuinely good show actually stuck the landing and wrapped up in fine form for once. (I’m looking at you, BSG.) My cat, however, seemed unfazed. Almost like she knew the show wasn’t really over. (Or she’s just a cat and doesn’t get caught up in serialized sci-fi storytelling. Who knows?)

It’s also worth nothing that, after around seven months of feeding and sheltering her, I still hadn’t settled on a name for my cat, who didn’t seem to mind that, either. Then I found a way to take care of this name issue while also keeping FRINGE alive, at least in my day-to-day life of denial.

My cat’s name is now “Belly,” after FRINGE’s great meglomaniacal scientist frenemy William Bell (originally played with just the right amount of illogic by Leonard Nimoy). My FRINGE season six plotline starts off when FRINGE’s other great but-slightly-less-meglomanical scientist Walter Bishop (the robbed-by-the-Emmys John Noble) mysteriously appears in the Harvard lab and takes Belly out of amber (lots of unanswered questions brought up in this sentence, but watch just the show) in order to drop acid with him in honor of the good old days.

An LSD bender later, and Astrid (the under-utilized but always terrific Jasika Nicole) arrives at the scene to find that a hallucinogen-addled Walter has put Belly’s brain inside an extremely fluffy kitty cat!

Several things in this scenario surprise the crap out of Astrid (to avoid spoilers, I won’t point them out), but kitty Belly has already run off! We end the season six premier with Belly, now a excessively fluffy, constantly g-damn shedding kitty cat being adopted from an animal shelter and now in my care.

FRINGE season 6! New cases. Endless impossibilities. Scratched-to-hell furniture. Now airing in my grief-stricken brain to boffo ratings!

I’m not a Wheel watcher, but…

So, those new digital billboards next to the roads in LA and some other parts of AMERICAISTHEBEST are great. It’s like watching TV except — oh shit! I’m at the wheel of a moving car under my control!

Sometimes they are quite distracting. Usually if there’s a pretty lady or something, then it turns to HOUSE in clown shoes, and I’m like, “Bring back the pretty lady!” right before I rear end the car in front of me.

This morning, though, there was a WHEEL OF FORTUNE one that caught my attention. I tried to find it online, but a quick search proved fruitless. It was a puzzling one…

CATEGORY:  Living things.

LETTERS: B L _ _ K  _ A T

Now, okay, Halloween is close, so we know it’s “BLACK CAT.”

But, buuuut! If one chooses an “A,” it’d show up in “BLACK” as well as “CAT,” right? So… this billboard is impossible!

It should be…

CATEGORY:  Living things.

LETTERS: B L A _ K  _ A T

Right?

I’m not a Wheel watcher, though. Am I missing something?

Aside from a life?

Hambonin’

Hamboning. Hambonin’. Hambonin’! It’s all I can think about lately. Just the word makes me happy. To be honest, I’ve never heard the word “hambone” in regard to anything other than the bone of a ham before co-worker Doug showed me a clip from REGULAR SHOW. This clip, though, this clip made me want to do two things: 1. Watch REGULAR SHOW. 2. Hambone.

I dunno. That clip just makes me laugh. The character designs are kinda wacky in a way that is wacky, but the voices have an easygoing tone and vibe that is fun. I dig it.

And, yeah, I hambone. Sure. I didn’t know it was called “hamboning” until seeing this delightful cartoon clip, but I’ve slapped little beats and rhythms on my belly before. I’m glad to know there’s a name for it — especially such an awesome one. Hambonin’.

Now I find myself wondering if hambonin’ could be the career I’ve been looking for during the malaise that started with adulthood. That sounds silly, sure. I mean, there ain’t no work in hamboin’… or is there?

Classy, Conan. Well said.

Conan went out with a great show, and this final speech is wonderful. Yes, I realize that this whole story isn’t important in the grand scheme of things, but the sentiment here is indeed important and well said.