The Smallville showrunners must’ve been like, “So… look Smallville Clark Kent on our awesome show is, what? 42? Shouldn’t he kinda become Superman as we enter our 900th season?”
That’s kinda neat to me. I can’t help it! In my lackluster imagination, said showrunners are all, “Okay, yeah, we gotta admit that this has gotten ridiculous! We’ve been on the air for 800 years. Clark definitely needs to become Superman already. But… blue tights and them red undies? C’mon. That’s lame and gay in that not necessarily homosexual way that people still use as an insult even though it’s clearly offensive. Okay, lemme think… thiiiink… Wait! Oh, hell yeah! I have a completely original idea! Black shirt, pants, and… wait for it… black trenchcoat!
“Wait… the What-trix? Okay, okay, I don’t think anyone will remember shit, but, sure, yeah, we can put the silly ‘S’ shield on his shirt if you want. Kinda old school, but whatevs.
“Yeah. You bet your flabby ass we worked a cross pose in there, too. That can never get old. Superman as Jesus. Totally. … Wait, what? Superman creators Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were Jewish and, therefore, probably didn’t have Jesus on their minds? Ah, whatevs part 2 — let’s beat that allegorical dead horse! Go team Smallville!”
Yeah, I might watch it. Fine. I can’t help myself if I have nothing better to do. Shut up!