This Week In Regrets

Every week, I make a list of regrets. So I won’t forget. Usually this is just for my dia– uh, I mean… journal. For my manly journal. But who keeps a journal anymore? I mean a private one just for the writer, because what’s the point of writing something — heck, of even feeling something, if it’s not shared with dozens (tens? fives?) of people. Internet, people!

So, for the first time ever, I shall share my list of regrets for the week (no particular order, numbered just because of mild, self-diagnosed OCD):

1. My life is without karate. Still I have yet to learn or even actually look for a way to learn this fighting technique. (On this list since I first started making it forty-two years ago when I was eight years old.)

2. No Chipotle for dinner. After work (or, as I sometimes call it, “wooooooork”), I didn’t walk to the nearby Chipotle for a big ol’ burrito dinner. Not once. This mistake was made on account of my wanting to save money. Related to this regret is Regret #3.

3. Kraft Mac & Cheese with tuna fish for diner. Come on. I’m an adult. What the hell am I doing eating like this?The cheese is orange powder, and, honestly, I see no difference between the can of tuna and cat food! And I’m not a cat! (Still, delicious… I’m ashamed.)

4. Did not exercise. Last week I was pretty good. Did some jogging each day and whatnot. This week? Lazytown, USA. That’s where I lived.

5. Rubik’s Cube still unsolved. I can get one side, but that’s freaking IT! Yes, it came with a pamphlet of instructions on how to win, but it’d be so lame to cheat like that! I want to figure it out for myself. But I never will. Look, this regret is somewhat misleading, as it infers that I worked on the Rubik’s Cube the week in question (this one). Truth is, I didn’t even try. I didn’t even realize I regreted this until I typed it.

6. Didn’t make it happen. What is “it”? It’s… “it”! And I did nothing to facilitate the happening of said “it.”

7. Went out for lunch every day this week. I need to save money, and I’ve been doing so well for so long. What’s my deal? It’s not like I hate turkey sandwiches, which is usually what I make to save money. It’s insane and costly to ¬†go out for lunch every single day when you’re an office drone like myself.

8. Failed to reach inner peace. Again! So elusive.

9. Could not think of a 9th regret even though I know I have hundreds of thousands deep in the bowels of my soul. I’m just not trying hard enough yet also feel 10 is a better number for lists.

10. Put my Weekly List of Regrets on my little-read blog. Really, why’d I do this? I’m actually typing this right now. Why am I doing this?