My Baltimore Comic Con 2009 Adventure began before I even arrived in that city on the harbor — way before. In preparation to schedule everything with the Lone Ranger to my Tonto, Adam P. Knave, I sent him my flight itinerary. He responded with, “Why are you flying into Dulles?”

“Because… William Shatner told me to?”

“That’s in D.C. — an hour from the convention.”

“Craptastic.” (Drink!)

Muh-effin’ Priceline! And, well, muh-effin’ me for just buying a ticket based upon price but not double-checking the cities, though, to be fair, I requested LA to Baltimore — I figured the Shat would get it! (Yes, I imagine William Shatner manning all requests at Priceline headquarters.)

So, the battle to figure out how to get to the convention after landing in D.C. began. I was getting in at midnight, and the Amtrak didn’t run again until 3:15 AM, so I’d have to hang out at the train station for around three hours, which I immediately began trying to convince myself would be a worthwhile experience because: taxis were too expensive; it’d cost twice my initial ticket price to change the flight at that point; and the last time I hitchhiked, I lost a kidney (and my dignity… but not my hope — that would go later). So, yeah, I decided to go with Amtrak. That meant I’d arrive in Baltimore around 4:30 AM. Then have to get to the hotel from Penn Station. Excitement!

Indeed, the seeds were planted for fretting, but I just pressed on. Then almost missed my flight out of LAX due to bad traffic and more of my poor planning. Yikes! Anyway, I did make it (just), and the flight there was swell, save for the gut rot given to me by the $25 turkey cold cut sandwich I bought due to extreme hunger. How does that happen? It was turkey and lettuce! Curious.

Anyway, after arriving at Dulles, it became clear getting to Union station for the Amtrak was going to be an ordeal… so I lazied up and went to the Super Shuttle. They weren’t sure if they’d have a shuttle running, but heaven smiled upon me, and they graciously decided to take my 90 bucks to drive me to my hotel in Baltimore… after dropping off eight other people all over Maryland. It was like that episode of Arrested Development — you know, when Tobias met his future acting coach, Carl Weathers, on the Super Shuttle? Everyone on that shuttle bonded, though. The soldier on leave from Iraq, the Texan mom and son in town for the gay pride parade, the NASA scientist, the Baltimore historian — the whole gang. This bonding was mostly from fear of the driver’s texting and GPS address entering while driving. Some close calls, folks. And close sitting. Bonding. Touching? None that I initiated.

I was the last one to be dropped off… at about 4 AM. Yeah, got there the same time I would’ve if I’d taken the Amtrak. Lessons.

The stalwart Adam P. Knave let me into the fancy Hyatt hotel, and we proceeded to chat and giggle and pillow fight, getting to sleep around, I dunno, 6 AM? Next day: the con! On two hours of sleep! Yay!

(to be continued because I need to do other stuff right now…)