Waking Up Right

Look, as I wrote a couple days ago, I have issues with waking up in the morning. So many so, that I slept through yesterday. A whole day! I guess my 7:00 AM alarm went off for a while, then stopped… then went off again at 7:00 AM this morning, and it stirred me from my epic slumber. And even after a whole extra and unplanned 24 hours of sleepytime — I still groaned and grumbled about getting out of my slightly too short for my body length bed!

The part of not liking getting up in the morning that I can change (as I have to go to work regardless, which is the other unlikeable part), is my alarm music. Currently it’s a “melody” on my 12-year-old girl appropriate Samsung Rant phone called “Sunny Day.” I picked this due to it’s name, which I’d hoped would translate into a g’mornin’ smile. It’s got a nice, brassy beat and a celebratory feel… and is incredibly annoying.

I think there is only one bit of music that I’d be happy with interrupting my dream time…

This would make me wake up with purpose! Gotta find that ringtone and then figure out how to download ringtones and if I can even do stuff like that on my Raaaant.

Yeah! Wakin’ up in style! Heroically!!!

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Ah! It’s 8:08 AM! I’m just out of bed now even though I done set my alarm for 7:00 AM! Hurry, hurry, work, work work workworkhurrywork!

Nearly every single damn morning. How is it my body’s infernal clock isn’t used to this, huh? Makes not a lick of sense. Like most of us, I’ve had to wake up at a certain time that is earlier than I seem to want to wake up for about all of my life. Yet it’s still a struggle.

The onlines (also known as the interwebnets) has some tips on waking up on time. Various sites saying about the same things with the same amusing lack of profundity or helpfulness.

1. Get enough sleep. Oh, really? So, wait… to not be tired, I just need to sleep more. Perfect! Thanks, experts!

2. Go to sleep at the same time every night. I kind of do… It’s just that that same time is kind of late.

3. Don’t drink to fall asleep. Um… that’s stupid advice. It’s like saying don’t drink to smile.

4. Avoid eating before bed. This is just inaccurate. Hasn’t science accepted the concept of “tummy tiredness.” A surefire way to sleep is to eat lots. Combining this and what they say not to do in step 3 is about the only way I ever drift off to night-night.

5. Think differently than D.J. Kirkbride. Ah, there you go. Here it is. Yep. Don’t let your brain be like mine. That is sound advice.

6. Put your alarm clock in a place where you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Ah, this is interesting advice. And the sound of a good alarm is something you can’t sleep through because, well, onto number 7…

7. Choose a really annoying alarm. I do have that. I mean, anything gets annoying when it’s an alarm waking you up for a day of cubicle sitting, but this one “melody” on my crap cell phone really does the trick… until I turn it off and go back to sleep.

8. Be a responsible adult and just get up. Ah… hm. Uh. Hmph.

Anyway, eight is enough since, due to my not waking, I should really be in a rush to get to work, not writing a bloggy thing for reasons unknown.

Maybe… maybe tomorrow I’ll have a chipper morn. There’s always tomorrow. Until the aliens come back to reclaim their pet planet.


This morning, my alarm went off at 6:45 AM, as I’d set it.

It went off again at 7:00 AM, as I’d also set it.

As I was typing the first sentence of this post, it went off again at 7:45 AM, as I think I set it after not wanting to get up at 7:00 AM.

I’m obviously up now, but the sound of that alarm as I was typing annoyed the hell out of me. Part of the alarm hate is not wanting to wake up until I naturally wake up, sure. Part of it is also that, well, I’m getting ready for a day that doesn’t particularly excite me. (Though swell things are usually sprinkled throughout.)

Sometimes I wonder if the main reason for the hate is the SOUND. I hate the SOUND of my alarm. And I’m on the third sound in two days.

I use my cell phone (Samsung RANT — I always assume it was very popular for the tween set back in 2000, though, as an old man in 2010, it’s kind of ridiculous), and there are ten “melody” choices and ten ringtones. Put down your calculators — that’s TWENTY choices. Melodies include such ditties as “Deep Chill Out,” “Garage in the Backyard,” and “Golden Dream.”

And I loathe them all. At least at 6:45 – 7:45 in the morning. Maybe it’s not the fault of these cheesy factory set ringtones and melodies.

I bet I could download a song or some funny whatsit or whathaveyou, but I don’t want to spend money on this. Bah. The truth probably is that I could download the most awesome of awesome (“Blaze of Glory” by Bon Jovi in case you didn’t know), and I’d end up hating it as much as any of these ringtones and melodies just because it’d become what rustles me from my slumber every day to go to the cubicle mines.

Speaking of which, I should start getting ready before the next alarm strikes…