Category Archives: Writing

Ninjas In Space!

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Ninjas in space,
Whose side are they on?

Are they defending us from alien invaders?
Or are they Ninjutsu Darth Vaders?

I mean, what if they were up there,
In their astro-ninja-underwear,
Planning our downfall?
The global death of us all?

That’s probably the deal.
Ninjas freaking hate humanity.
At least that’s how I was raised to…
… raised… to… feel… ?

Holy shit.
Wait a minute.

Was I raised to hate ninjas?
To be a ninja hater?

No, I don’t blame Mom and Dad.
It’s society that’s bad.
The media, that’s who to blame…
… for my ninja-hating shame.

Just because they can kill me with a kick,
Doesn’t mean I have to be a dick.

Ninjas, on earth or in space,
are part of the human race.

So, I’m going to hug a ninja, and – ack!
I was just stabbed… with a ninja… sword…
… what a sneaky ninja attack.

Lesson learned?

Probably not.

Ninjas Are In Your Heart

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Ninjas are in your heart.
Yeah, every organ has to do its part.
If a ninja was in your thigh…
that isn’t an organ, so it don’t
apply.

Ninjas don’t care about your dreams,
and they don’t live in your
spleens.

Ninjas are stronger than your soul,
and, like you, they eat cereal
and milk
out of a bowl.

Ninjas are in your heart,
which is more important than
any
other
part…

… of YOU!

Dude, a ninja could eat your HEART!

When Ninjas Drink Too Much Coffee

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When ninjas drink too much coffee,

their teeth take on the color of toffee.

A belly full of this fine ass roast,

ain’t always something of which to boast.

Dig it: ninjas have to be stealthy…

…quiet and sneaky to stay healthy…

… and if they kill for money, to get wealthy.

But drinking coffee effs with their digestion…

Weird noises abound,

causing sneaking around,

without making a sound,

kinda out of the question.

That type of noisy stomach shit could get a ninja killed, man.

SHHHHHHHHHH!

Ninjas should not drink too much coffee.