Ninjas don’t jazzercise
…..to keep the thunder out of their thighs.
……….For that they kick tons of ass.
Ninjas don’t diet
…..as a way to stay fit.
……….Badass assassinations keep ’em thin.
Ninjas don’t sweat to the oldies
…..to be free of ass fat foldies.
……….Airborne flipping is better than Richard Simmons’ moves.
Ninjas don’t jazzercise.
…..or freaking diet
……….or sweat to no oldies.
Ninjas
kick
ass.
…..Which is wonderful exercise.
Ninja with a mustache,
your hairy lip aids you in the kicking
of ass.
–
Whatever your reason for growing your ‘stache,
it works for you.
I say this true blue.
–
Show off your ‘stache,
and cut a ‘stache hole in  your mask…
In fear your enemies will bask.
–
Show off that sweet hairy lip…
Oh! And when you kick,
remember to pivot with your hip.
–
Look, put that razor down.
Without that godgiven ‘stache,
you look like an child clown.
–
Ninja, sweet mustchioed ninja,
you beautiful bastard,
don’t ever give up the dream.
–
Shaving your lip,
won’t make your enemies scream
… in terror.
Comic Book Resources staff writer Josh Wigler interviewed POPGUN 4 contributors Jeffrey Brown, Frank Stockton, Amanda Becker, Janet Kim, Andy Ristiano, and yours truly for a terrific article at Comic Book Resources.
Complete with some story descriptions from the creators themselves as well as preview art — check it out and leave a comment if you’re so moved!
Ninjas in space,
Whose side are they on?
Are they defending us from alien invaders?
Or are they Ninjutsu Darth Vaders?
I mean, what if they were up there,
In their astro-ninja-underwear,
Planning our downfall?
The global death of us all?
That’s probably the deal.
Ninjas freaking hate humanity.
At least that’s how I was raised to…
… raised… to… feel… ?
Holy shit.
Wait a minute.
Was I raised to hate ninjas?
To be a ninja hater?
No, I don’t blame Mom and Dad.
It’s society that’s bad.
The media, that’s who to blame…
… for my ninja-hating shame.
Just because they can kill me with a kick,
Doesn’t mean I have to be a dick.
Ninjas, on earth or in space,
are part of the human race.
So, I’m going to hug a ninja, and – ack!
I was just stabbed… with a ninja… sword…
… what a sneaky ninja attack.
Lesson learned?
Probably not.